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Friday, January 20, 2006

I Broke His Heart

Anonymous said...

I was with someone for nearly a decade. I don't doubt that I was deeply in love with him, though the last few years were more like living in stasis as flatmates. I left him recently, and it broke his heart.
I am having two problems.
firstly, I'm finding it hard to deal with the guilt of it all. I did love him, I tried to do all the right things, but I still left him in the lurch. I can't understand quite why, even now. There are just so many things that were just fine. But I still ran off.

Secondly, even though I was in love with my partner, I spent an awful lot of the time with huge crushes on other men. I don't just mean "ooh he's tasty", I mean serious crying at night, and desperately throwing myself at other men. Luckily, none of them ever threw back, until right at the end. These crushes lasted for months on end, and in one case, about two and a half years, a situation that was only relieved when the crushee left the country.
Is this normal? Will I keep doing it? It scares me. Was it a sign that things were wrong all along?
I'm now with someone I (again) love very much but I'm terrified of this happening again.
sorry for rambling, I hope you can help, or at least offer your wordly wisdom.

1 Comments:

Blogger Clare said...

This post has been earmarked for answering by Linda.

4:20 pm  

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